It didn't tonight. And thousands of us in south central Kansas are glad.
My favorite meteorologist, Mike Smith of WeatherData, warned yesterday that today's weather conditions replicated a pattern from June 8, 1974, when three dozen tornadoes touched down in the southern plains. Being a lifelong resident of Kansas I take tornado warnings very seriously. Those who have seen me tote around my portable weather radio all day long might say a bit too seriously.
I just want to have a fighting chance if the Big One comes. Today's advance notice was the most serious threat this year, so I immediately went into tornado preparedness mode. My goal: minimal damage to family, home, and of course, my lipstick collection.
Regarding family, until today I was the only one who owned her own Oregon Scientific Portable Weather Radio. To share the joy I bought one for my daughter and one for my parents so that they, too, could be awakened in the middle of the night by the radio's jarring high-pitched alarm.
Then I worked assembling my disaster preparedness kit. The Red Cross advises having:
1) a first aid kit and essential medications
2) foods that don't require cooking or refrigeration and a manual can opener
3) bottled water
4) flashlights
5) a battery-powered radio with extra batteries and other emergency items for the whole family.
Diane, my trusted hair artist, suggested these items:
6) a pickaxe in case you have to hack your way out of a pile of debris
7) long pants and a long-sleeved shirt to protect your skin
To be honest, I forgot about the first aid kit or medications, so focused was I on finding a pickaxe. In an effort to be efficient and get home as quickly as possible, I visited WalMart, the standard for one-stop shopping, where you can have your tires rotated, eat lunch, pick up some plants for the garden, and buy canned goods for your disaster preparedness kit all under one roof.
Unfortunately, you cannot find a pickaxe on the tool aisle. At least I couldn't. Colorful fishing lures of every size and shape imaginable, yes, pickaxes (or any kind of ax), no.
Once home, I quickly assembled a food box of non-perishables by grabbing the first few items I could find in the pantry. Were I to become trapped in my own basement, my next few meals would consist of four different types of canned beans, a jar of minced garlic, and a bottle of pickapeppa sauce, the theory being that I could then blast myself out from under the debris on my own power. If you know what I mean.
Knowing that the wine cellar is in the basement, and that if it really is the Big One I would rather be sipping a really velvety Cabernet with notes of blackberry and oak than bottled water, I included a corkscrew and plastic wineglass in my kit.
I also included amenities, such as a big fluffy pillow, a thick comforter, and some essentials, such as the remote to the plasma tv. When the siren went off, I moved downstairs with confidence. I was ready to spend the entire evening and even the night holed up inside my tornado shelter.
But the tornadoes were never a serious threat, at least not in my little suburb. I hope they didn't menace anyone else, either. It rained only a little, and I never lost power.So the Big One didn't come today. Far from being disappointed, I'm relieved. But once the siren sounded and I was safely downstairs I realized one thing: I had forgotten to retrieve the lipsticks.
Perhaps I don't need to take the entire collection to the basement. I'll just put a couple of spares in the disaster preparedness kit. Because it's a disaster of a different kind if a cute rescuer shows up and a gal doesn't have on her lipstick.
My favorite meteorologist, Mike Smith of WeatherData, warned yesterday that today's weather conditions replicated a pattern from June 8, 1974, when three dozen tornadoes touched down in the southern plains. Being a lifelong resident of Kansas I take tornado warnings very seriously. Those who have seen me tote around my portable weather radio all day long might say a bit too seriously.
I just want to have a fighting chance if the Big One comes. Today's advance notice was the most serious threat this year, so I immediately went into tornado preparedness mode. My goal: minimal damage to family, home, and of course, my lipstick collection.
Regarding family, until today I was the only one who owned her own Oregon Scientific Portable Weather Radio. To share the joy I bought one for my daughter and one for my parents so that they, too, could be awakened in the middle of the night by the radio's jarring high-pitched alarm.
Then I worked assembling my disaster preparedness kit. The Red Cross advises having:
1) a first aid kit and essential medications
2) foods that don't require cooking or refrigeration and a manual can opener
3) bottled water
4) flashlights
5) a battery-powered radio with extra batteries and other emergency items for the whole family.
Diane, my trusted hair artist, suggested these items:
6) a pickaxe in case you have to hack your way out of a pile of debris
7) long pants and a long-sleeved shirt to protect your skin
To be honest, I forgot about the first aid kit or medications, so focused was I on finding a pickaxe. In an effort to be efficient and get home as quickly as possible, I visited WalMart, the standard for one-stop shopping, where you can have your tires rotated, eat lunch, pick up some plants for the garden, and buy canned goods for your disaster preparedness kit all under one roof.
Unfortunately, you cannot find a pickaxe on the tool aisle. At least I couldn't. Colorful fishing lures of every size and shape imaginable, yes, pickaxes (or any kind of ax), no.
Once home, I quickly assembled a food box of non-perishables by grabbing the first few items I could find in the pantry. Were I to become trapped in my own basement, my next few meals would consist of four different types of canned beans, a jar of minced garlic, and a bottle of pickapeppa sauce, the theory being that I could then blast myself out from under the debris on my own power. If you know what I mean.
Knowing that the wine cellar is in the basement, and that if it really is the Big One I would rather be sipping a really velvety Cabernet with notes of blackberry and oak than bottled water, I included a corkscrew and plastic wineglass in my kit.
I also included amenities, such as a big fluffy pillow, a thick comforter, and some essentials, such as the remote to the plasma tv. When the siren went off, I moved downstairs with confidence. I was ready to spend the entire evening and even the night holed up inside my tornado shelter.
But the tornadoes were never a serious threat, at least not in my little suburb. I hope they didn't menace anyone else, either. It rained only a little, and I never lost power.So the Big One didn't come today. Far from being disappointed, I'm relieved. But once the siren sounded and I was safely downstairs I realized one thing: I had forgotten to retrieve the lipsticks.
Perhaps I don't need to take the entire collection to the basement. I'll just put a couple of spares in the disaster preparedness kit. Because it's a disaster of a different kind if a cute rescuer shows up and a gal doesn't have on her lipstick.
1 comment:
Don't forget to put CAT FOOD in your emergency kit!
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