This is just a reminder that if something seems too good to be true….unless it’s a huge end-of-season markdown at Dillard’s and you’ve just found a Tahari suit in your size for $30, someone may be trying to scam you.
Over the weekend I received a letter in the mail whose envelope bore a postage stamp from Canada. It looked like a mass mailing, as opposed to a missive from Alec Baldwin, whom I assumed had made good on his threat to relocate following the 2000 general election.
I opened it anyway, discovering a very real-looking check from Orion Enterprises, Inc. in Kansas City, Kansa (that’s right, Kansa), for nearly $4,000 and an accompanying letter announcing that I had won a mega lottery.
Who couldn’t use an extra four grand in their checking account? But my keen instincts, the very same ones that led me to purchase a $1,200 Kirby vacuum cleaner in 1991 that now sits in my basement on Unused Appliance Death Row, told me that something wasn’t right.
For starters, I had never entered the so-called ‘Mega Lottery.’
I don’t know what the Mega Lottery is or how one enters. I do know this: if I ever win the Powerball drawing, first off, I have to buy a ticket. Second, if my ticket matches the winning numbers, I’m not going to get a letter and a phony check in the mail. It is up to me to hang onto that ticket for dear life, notify the Lottery authorities, and then have my teeth whitened so they flash during the television interviews.
Third, even though I haven’t won very many contests in my lifetime, I’m pretty sure there’s something terribly wrong with one that promises total winnings of US$98,000.00, and that the check I have in my hands is for payment of Non Resident Government Service tax (GST) Payable in Canada. Further, I have to contact an assigned claims agent to activate my check and receive further instructions on how to claim my winnings.
Last, there were just enough grammatical errors to make me suspect that the good people at Global Financial Inc. didn’t have time to proofread their letter, as they were too busy contriving schemes to convince people that you really can get something for nothing. They referred to me as the ‘second prized winner’ and said that my ticket (the one I didn’t buy) ‘drew the lucky winnings number.’
My consumer tip is this: if you or anyone you know ever receives one of these letters and real-looking but completely phony checks in the mail, enjoy a good laugh, run them through the shredder, and then indulge in a little retail therapy. It’s a reward for being way too smart to be hornswoggled by unscrupulous people who just want access to your bank account on the pretext of depositing money in it.
The moral of the story is this: there’s no such thing as a free lunch, but a good clearance sale is pretty darned close.
Over the weekend I received a letter in the mail whose envelope bore a postage stamp from Canada. It looked like a mass mailing, as opposed to a missive from Alec Baldwin, whom I assumed had made good on his threat to relocate following the 2000 general election.
I opened it anyway, discovering a very real-looking check from Orion Enterprises, Inc. in Kansas City, Kansa (that’s right, Kansa), for nearly $4,000 and an accompanying letter announcing that I had won a mega lottery.
Who couldn’t use an extra four grand in their checking account? But my keen instincts, the very same ones that led me to purchase a $1,200 Kirby vacuum cleaner in 1991 that now sits in my basement on Unused Appliance Death Row, told me that something wasn’t right.
For starters, I had never entered the so-called ‘Mega Lottery.’
I don’t know what the Mega Lottery is or how one enters. I do know this: if I ever win the Powerball drawing, first off, I have to buy a ticket. Second, if my ticket matches the winning numbers, I’m not going to get a letter and a phony check in the mail. It is up to me to hang onto that ticket for dear life, notify the Lottery authorities, and then have my teeth whitened so they flash during the television interviews.
Third, even though I haven’t won very many contests in my lifetime, I’m pretty sure there’s something terribly wrong with one that promises total winnings of US$98,000.00, and that the check I have in my hands is for payment of Non Resident Government Service tax (GST) Payable in Canada. Further, I have to contact an assigned claims agent to activate my check and receive further instructions on how to claim my winnings.
Last, there were just enough grammatical errors to make me suspect that the good people at Global Financial Inc. didn’t have time to proofread their letter, as they were too busy contriving schemes to convince people that you really can get something for nothing. They referred to me as the ‘second prized winner’ and said that my ticket (the one I didn’t buy) ‘drew the lucky winnings number.’
My consumer tip is this: if you or anyone you know ever receives one of these letters and real-looking but completely phony checks in the mail, enjoy a good laugh, run them through the shredder, and then indulge in a little retail therapy. It’s a reward for being way too smart to be hornswoggled by unscrupulous people who just want access to your bank account on the pretext of depositing money in it.
The moral of the story is this: there’s no such thing as a free lunch, but a good clearance sale is pretty darned close.
